People in Strokes and Words

The people here present themselves in short poems, where I monkey your self-knowledge, ideas, feelings.

Faces in few strokes - drawing faster than perception.

 


Heart Lady, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I walk through the world
dressed in wind
girded with lightning

my internal fire
lead me brightly and boldly
through lands, people and the changes of fate

you that blow so freely through all I see
blow away from my life the remnants of the ideas for life,
blow in the infinite
and burn
infinitely

My internal fire, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
there is a poem, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

there is a poem on a sheet of paper
beside it a knife on the table
down in the street yesterday a boy stabbed a man with a knife
great is the power of association

I can link one with the other
but see just one everywhere
being a particle of dust I boil water for tea
then glance at myself and
there in an uncreated brightness
the universe is laughing at me

no I don't go for a drink tonight
have a little pain in my throat
hope this is not tonsillitis

when I opened my eyes for the first time
in the amniotic waters of my mother
sailed the ship
above it floated a bird
so high that it must have been in a heaven

when I was born I forgot everything

only so many years later
when for the first time I opened my thighs
for a chance meeting by the way
I saw the bird was still circling

that's why I didn't agree to have an abortion
I will deliver despite everything

when I opened my eyes, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I like it when everything is in the right place:
bread on the table policeman on a corner
war in the middle east
pig in a butcher's bed

I know what I know
the sun is round
the earth is flat like a coin

besides
everyone has great wings
and a small cage

I like it when, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

once upon a time I was a boy playing ball games
now I know that man is a factory of shit

once I was on a galloping horse on a sunny morning
vaguely I remember that all this was different
but the cruel
wind blew
thirty forty years were whisked away
I work on a machine and produce shit
take part in elections and vote for the shit

I do not complain
my old age is safe
and I have everything for life that's needed so much

only that this kind of everything
is soft warm and stinking
in one word: shit!

once upon a time I was a boy, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I am in this great town

lots of lights colors rich decorations
but the meaning of the play is not known to me

millions of people live here
and I don't know even
if they play comedy or drama

I am stranger here
as everywhere else
as if I have no name
nationality or skin color
I breathe with love
but do not play a part

I am in this great town, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
before I leave my house, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

before I leave my house I scrutinise everything carefully
to make sure the gas and lights are off
that there is no stub smouldering anywhere

I had an infectious disease in my childhood
stayed a long time in hospital
one night went over to the window
the whole horizon was glowing
the warsaw ghetto on fire

I kept on looking at it for many nights
and took it for a beautiful scene
but now that I know both beauty and ugliness
are human excuses
I even look in my waste bin
to check that there is no forgotten spark

I wouldn't like it to happen again

I decided there will be no more war

we shall only murder animals
poison nature and not each other

I mean that everyone
even a simple clerk like me
has a right to croak in peace

I decided there will be no more war, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
I will never forget, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I will never forget how you crucified Jesus

through all your speeches prayers songs
I hear the coarse breathing
I see
the bleeding sweating
still trembling
body

it's not my affair to judge or to forgive
because I do not believe in your good or evil

one thing i'll never forget
is that
I see
all around me
your immortal lying
undying falsity

no I can never forget
how you crucify Jesus

I am being born
in a place
where colors and forms
hands and tools
individual existence and the world
meet each other

simple as a breath
complicated as a breathing one
no more understandable
than a drawing on a cave wall

my only secret is the secret of being

my name is Painting

I am being born, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
Heart Lady, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

the sun is shining aimlessly
just as the wind blows

the earth spins free of care
days pass by

there is nothing to understand
all is to feel
and to love

all
and
now

I laugh!
what else can I do
when I look at you

your love is riding on a horse of gold
your rainbow is made of silk
just look at yourself when you're shutting the door
see those solid locks

possibly i've gone mad
but I prefer poverty
when one has nothing at all
one is closer to the truth
and the truth here is to be called pain
humiliation hunger despair

go on!
you'll see for yourself!

I laugh, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
nothing in nature perishes, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

nothing in nature perishes

who knows
maybe the blood of Jesus
still circulates in the bloodstream of human
the sun over his head
who goes down the street

who knows
who will live
who died

only half a century ago I was just incredibly young
unusually beautiful
never slept alone

today life is one long night
only death keeps on coming to my bed
tells me stories of the ones long forgotten
looks deep into my eyes
or checks
my pulse with his fiery finger
shaking his head letting me
breathe the whole night through
and
even possibly longer
then goes away
to visit my neighbour

many of us are living here in sheltered housing
no-one's talking to me except mister death

only half a century ago, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
rose, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

rose
you are free

yes! free
and nameless!

don't weep or faint when they break you

you relive in my love
all that you were
all that you'll be

enjoy!
the sun is shining
you still have a few days
with me

I do not recognise my own face
nor know where I come from

I am from here:
the wind and eagle
call me brother

I went through time
saw from the other river bank:
people in their innermost cores
carry domesticated beasts
and forms
are not really what they seem to be

but everywhere
I can see you
and am warmed up by your light

how delicate
it shines through open jasmine petals
in the eyes of a woman when she's blooming with me

this is the vibration of the beginning
flickering sparks
night coolness
unfettered walking
from nowhere to nowhere

almighty flame

I do not recognise my own face, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
if I had some money, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

if I had some money
i'd buy new york
but then
new day
brings old filth

don't know how to live
fear death

can only afford a ticket to cinema

nights and days
moon and stars

what joins
one
with the other?
me
and you?
a single drop of dew
with the sun?

what is it
actually?

nights and days, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
just yesterday I was sixteen, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

just yesterday I was sixteen

today it is snowing
and so windy

stars are invisible
can only weep

once I was lonely
today
my friend's name is knife

once
I even had a mother and father
but think
before you look me in the eyes

blood is logical
my friend
might think that you want something from him

once I was lonely, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

we were children of concrete
gathering together at the carpet beater
to throw stones against a wall
or at each other

my mother
meeting me sometimes
says that I got hit on the nose

blood was flowing
when we were children

but if my daughter were a boy
I would never buy him a pistol
or gun

it might be as though I
were killing him

we were children of concrete, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
I know as much and as little, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I know as much and as little
as nothing:

with unending
mighty
slow change
the world looks at itself
through my very eyes

don't know where I began
nor where I go

full moon
enlightens
me

don't know where I began, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
I am the longing, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I
am the longing

snow
falling on sea

the unknown only
is
truly important

and there was a bunker on this curve
under a broken wall was a tunnel
that could lead to
somewhere else

but there were only old slats
stinking with piss

there is only so much to be said
on the theme of soul searching

and there was a bunker, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
what am I doing here, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

what am I doing here among you?

I feel like I died
there is a curtain of death
between me and the world

and yet I move
meet real people
speak like wanting to stop
or to warm up

I feel
that do not feel anything
nor light
nor darkness

I would like maybe something else?
I breathe
I breathe

what makes that at dawn
I start to write this poem?

that I believe in light and easy
I'm happy because
there is the sun and brother and stone?

it makes death that is with me

does not let me worry
with death of a close person
equates all hierarchies
let me to be here and now

thanks to its watchful absence
does not allow any mistakes
proclaim me equal to a pear
makes me do what I want

everything is irrelevant
and soaked in brightness
I'm going from being to being
I can be a wolf or a reed

what makes that at dawn, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
I'm simply not connected, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I'm simply not connected
to the law of common gravity
and they say I am crazy

maybe it's right to say so!

I've never killed anybody
never believed anybody
never lied to anybody

I let the bees pollinate me
I change autumn forests into violins
that which is above me is in me -

the sun! ladies and gentlemen!

can't laugh
can't weep
the sky was torn into pieces
I went sightseeing
to a concentration camp
there was one barrack
filled with children's' shoes
I was weeping there

don't know how to tell you
I understood my tears were blasphemous
and
that I was murdered as well
as a boy

don't laugh
don't weep
wherever I tread
I walk in the footsteps of those children
the sky is scarred
how long one can live on?

can't laugh, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
I was born as an ordinary girl, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I was born as an ordinary girl

then I married my husband

and all this talk of war is of no good!

they talk and the meat becomes more expensive!

I am a shadow
of my spirit
I live in a world of shadows

people
turn their eyes away from the light
from fear
and
to be able to see each other

I recognize people
through the cold that is blowing from them

yes I am blind
the light
allowed me to see itself
it was like the biggest dreams
which can not even be formulated

maybe I'm raving but the light
was not in front of me or behind me
neither outside nor inside

and now wherever I go
I know
that it is not this
direction

I am a shadow, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
at last, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

at last
I have achieved something worthwhile
a sunflower grows out my ear

from now on
it will turn my head to follow the sun

and I can finally
rest

lime trees
shimmer in a july wind

here I loved
and was loved

my map is not charted
I am the way

this I is an unknown
it's here
in this wind

lime trees, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
the trembling of the poplar leaves, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

the trembling of the poplar leaves makes me shiver
I am

full moon
wolf is howling
lean
lonely wolf
running incessantly
along the iron fence

howling
in the darkness of my soul
saving me from illusions
deceiving not
by committing suicide

full moon, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
what is my painting, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

what is my painting?

sometimes joy
sometimes longing
sometimes suffering
sometimes inspiration

sometimes rejection
sometimes recall
prayer time
sometimes rage

sometimes
it is the time
and
the way
behind

it's almost unbelievable but when the years pass by
I remember more and more

it seems like yesterday
when moments from the past were coming back to me
and I was without name

there colors were signs of the invisible
and sounds
emanated with the mute

I feel I am returning to the source
when I think over what is no more
and I tell you my young friend
weird is my certainty
of going into death without closing my eyes

it's almost unbelievable, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
I was born beside a great river, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I was born beside a great river

I see people flowing like water
sometimes clear
sometimes dirty

and wonder if that means something more
or, simply, that's the way it is

I had a castle on the glass mountain

now I have a lock from the broken door

cop picked it up off the floor
to throw at me

take it! will be useful! you'll be able to shut up
when you come back to molest
about democracy

I had a castle, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
sometimes I believe, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

sometimes I believe the last judgement
has already been passed

the division between the damned and those condemning
decided
and all were sent down to the earth
for life eternal
until awakening

sometimes
I've no more power to go on
but I can't die! I
am not born yet!
my aura is made of rust flakes
but I can't get lost! I have not been found yet!

sometimes
no face seems to suit my face

and I doubt
the legal position of the sentence

I have never seen my father
moreover, the mother says
that the rat impregnated her

I do not believe at all
she is probably jealous
of men who I get so many
how many can afford it

I really do not understand
that they want
so much to pump me

no it is not a comet
someone threw a cigarette butt
through the window

I have never seen my father, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
something is ending, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

something
is ending

thought i'd been singing
but it was only inner bleeding

I need change
for a beer and for the next one
too

maybe you can buy a round
or tell me how to live

who am I
where
I actually

looks up at me eye
from afar
internal

I am seen
not seeing

my heroes are dead
untamed infants of the spirit

who am I
further

who am I, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
there is nothing like being a donkey, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

there is nothing like being a donkey! proverbially stupid
even in his own country he can think loudly
and even though he has large ears
he does not sell what he hears

happy in indifference
he is a born epicurean
has anyone seen
cuffs on the limbs of the donkey?

for fear of ridicule
the tyrant does not put the donkey in jail
and sending to hard work
your ideal endures perfectly

I also digest food well
vegetarian, i.e. I am not killing
I do not do politics
my future is bright as green grass

oh, night
give me confidence
and with darkness
mercy

enlighten me
oh, morning
wherever I go

oh, night, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
I died in childhood, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I died in childhood
and then
one gave me the life of the living dead
which means
I was like others are

only that a tragic accident
took my legs and hands
to let me see the wind

I speak a language known for billions of years

it is a language of change


little children know it
beaches stars animals whatever is alive

they talk to me and I talk to them

we have always been here and have a lot of time
but we have no secret issues
prisons honors hopes insensibilities and deaths

we know exactly the same and we are together
ourselves
and what speaks through us

ah yes! especially this
since billions of years

I speak a language, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
on the other side of my face, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

on the other side of my face
all things are invisible

streets stones people
have no substance at all

they are there
'cause I am

and as me
untouchable
in their inner truth
as me
of no aim

today I circled night long in the streets
feeding my inner pig
on a harrowing concrete

far from the simplest things
that make a man:
haystack
the smell of bonfire
grass on which you can go barefoot

soiled with garbage western civilization
with what?
I think only with concrete I have something in common

today I circled night long, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
oh night of january, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

oh night of january
bless my effort
to become disinterested
and bringing peace

here I am freed from the visions and views
abandoning reason
imagination and friends

january's snow oh night oh wind
be my family
raise the
importance of brotherhood

what so I am facing
with my turbulent fullness?
with what I greet?
what say goodbye to? whether
I am?

do you want to know something?

ask the wind
in a field

I don't need to talk
it's enough to be

do you want to know, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
enlightened by lightning, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

enlightened by lightning
in fire
united with heaven and earth

free from
free for
empty
open
formless

of no name
no memory
melted into light

no
I have not awakened yet

I let dreams lead me
wherever they fly

and I long

oh! I am longing so dearly and not knowing what for
but it must be for something delicate
like spring twigs in a glass
something as simple
as life
that I dream of

in precognition
that an awakening awaits me

no I have not awakened yet, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
justice does not make fat, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

justice does not make fat
but I'm doing fine

in these difficult times
have so much work!

I judge people
do not think
that this is a badly paid job

and as to conscience - everything is written
man has family
lives in culture
knows prayers
at all
he does not have to guess

my dog was called rex which means king

I was five years old
when I had my last dog
a black hole sucked him in
he was bound with an iron chain to the tree
and shot

one has explained it all to me

I saw it then and now
when I look back
and see something strange there
it was my lack of emotion

I was five
and already had a full understanding

nothing has changed to this very day

my dog was called rex, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
I am similar to you, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

I am similar to you
like birch to pine
and it happens in spring
that I write words

because something is overwhelming me?
or because I miss something?

lack
excess
two scarves of the same weight
or like inhale and exhale

then the earth is blessed
blessed sky
widely

do I have enough time to tell you?

I can soon disappear so
want to be comprehensible

borders classes poverty richness
are all illusions

do I not care about the future of the world?
nuclear rockets? eternal peace?

I tell you honestly - I sustain in being
no single policeman nor soldier
and not a single paragraph of any of your laws
affects me
and all your discussions cares fights ideas
- no more than nothing

I don't criticise you
I almost envy you
you've so much time
for all and everything
and I am sentenced to death
live with the feeling
that this is my last word last second
nothing strange I seem to be funny

if it were my last hour!
I would have still time
enough for my mother and father memories an ocean
but this is literally the last breath
infinity is wholly unknown
there are no more excuses!

actually
I am no more human
having more in common
with life itself

do I have enough time to tell you, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
it doesn't any fucking matter, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

it doesn't any fucking matter
in which direction
we dream

what have I done today
that has made me so happy?

went down the street
wind blew
a child laughed at me

when I sat down on a garden bench
a dog ran up to me to lick my hand

I have done nothing
really nothing
for the first time in my life

what have I done today, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
pleased with just anything, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

pleased with just anything
suffered from the need of emotions

brush points to the sun
and the revival in all things

facing you I am alone
as when I face the world

autumn sky is perfectly clear

tomorrow
I won't be beneath it

facing you, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski
in a space filled, pen and ink portrait drawing by Wieslaw Sadurski

in a space filled with spring smells
crows caw
flying over the house
since immemorial dawns

at the window there is
my - not my -
body

below me
my - not my -
town

in this space
that is me